Living Without Judgement

I had this great talk tonight with my friend Christina, about the make-up of a great relationship. We discussed the usual suspects: trust, commonality, and ease of communication. We always have complete thoughts in conversation form, me and her. That's why I appreciate our relationship, among other reasons.

But as I'm lying down, before sleep, I'm thinking about how relationships can be so varied. There are just so many types of them, running a wide, wide spectrum of labels and description. We have these connections for so many reasons, and many times we don't even know what the reason is. Paradoxically, ambiguity runs rampant in the most meaningful parts of our lives. I have a sense, though, that there is at least one feature of relationships that will almost always contribute to failure. And its probably true across all these types. 

Relationships are the pathway of expression. When we expose ourselves to or create any type of symbol (art), we're enabling our subjective to become objective (experience). What is on the inside is expressed, even if we were previously unconscious of those parts. So, the ideal situation for love is one in which we experience the BEST PART OF OURSELVES; the best part of "one's self" is that part which is the most true, beautiful, and good - LOVE itself. The ideal relationship expresses an inner love that reaches across all things and beings.

So what is this feature of not-so-ideal relationships? If experience is always a personal expression (in the beginning, I AM), then what is it that allows us to experience the worst parts of ourselves? 

Well, are there any parts which are not LOVE? 

Quick Thought on Experiential Representaion

One's meanings will determine the nature of one's experience. It's a measure of control that we can exert upon our reality.

For example, right now I'm watching the 2008 UEFA Cup Final between Glasgow Rangers and Zenit St. Petersburg. There are many ways to view this object of experience. If I were a fan of one of the teams, then I would see it as a historical moment with special or personal significance. Or, if I knew nothing about football I might see it as having zero significance. As it stands, I'm experiencing it as this: a major moment in the European season, the final of one of the biggest club tournaments in the world. I'm finding it interesting from a neutral point of view as a football fan, and having grown up with so many other sports, from a more generalized perspective which attaches beauty to sport itself.

Who I am plays a large part in this process - my past experiences, my knowledge, etc. But I do have a choice in this matter, to a certain degree. I have a choice in the emotions that I'll attach to this experience. And this will depend upon who I NOW choose to be, the meaning which I want to realize in my current reality. 

In this match, I want to experience these meanings:

Beauty - This was Realized in the crowd excitement and match magnitude.

Striving - This was definitely Realized. It was a very hard fought match.

The trick in life is to use only VALUABLE MEANINGS. How hard is this? Very hard. It's only possible through the personal evaluation of meanings throughout your life. You have to be constantly determining whether a meaning has any real use for you in your future. How do you do this? Well, first you have to figure out what kind of future you want.